Mercy makes people feel trapped. Gratitude fades quickly. Self-interest endures.
When you ask for help, show how it benefits them: profit, protection, status, relief, leverage, or a visible win they can claim. Make the gain specific and near-term. A vague “you’ll feel good” is weak; a clear advantage is strong.
Do not remind them of past favors. People remember what they gave up, not what they owe. Structure the exchange so they can say yes without losing dignity, and no without drama.
People prefer feeling smart over feeling charitable. Give them a rational reason to help, and they will call it generosity later. But the decision will be anchored in their benefit, which is the only stable foundation.