Negotiation isn’t a special event. It’s the daily act of trying to change what someone will do—while they’re trying to change you.
The premise is blunt: “split the difference” often feels fair, but it can be a lazy ending that produces two unhappy people and a weak agreement. The alternative is not domination. It’s influence built from listening, patience, and emotional control—skills tested in situations where panic is expensive.
This approach treats feelings as data. When you name what’s happening inside the other person—fear, frustration, pride—you lower the temperature and earn room to ask better questions. The goal is to get beneath positions to motives, then guide the conversation toward a deal that can actually hold.
The first step is counterintuitive: slow down, talk less, and make the other side feel heard before you push for anything.