People do irrational things, then explain them with neat stories that sound reasonable. You do it too. The trouble isn’t ignorance; it’s blindness to the forces that move you before thought arrives.
The first discipline is to stop taking behavior at face value—yours or anyone else’s. What you see is often a mask, a justification, a performance, a reaction to something older than the moment. Most of life’s friction comes from misreading these hidden motives, then acting as if your interpretation is fact.
The aim is not to become cold. It is to become lucid: calmer under provocation, sharper in observation, harder to manipulate, slower to condemn, quicker to understand. Once you accept that human nature runs on predictable patterns, you stop being surprised by the worst in people—and you become less surprised by the worst in yourself.