People warm up fastest when they feel respected. Not flattered—respected. The difference is sincerity.
Treat the person in front of you as significant. Look at them when they speak. Let their opinions land before you reply. Acknowledge their effort, their taste, their judgment, their patience. Make your appreciation concrete so it can’t be mistaken for sugar.
Small courtesies matter because they signal rank. Interrupting, correcting, and one-upping are silent ways of saying, “I’m above you.” Even when unintentional, they create resistance.
Instead, practice a habit of elevating others. Give credit freely. Ask for advice when it’s true. Admit when you don’t know. Praise progress, not perfection.
The “instant” part isn’t magic; it’s human nature. When you make someone feel important without games, they relax. When they relax, connection appears quickly.