Influence strengthens when people stop feeling like separate units and start feeling like members of the same ‘we.’
Unity begins with belonging: shared identity, shared story, shared fate. When that bond is real, requests are interpreted as cooperation, not extraction. Helping ‘us’ protects the self because the self is partly defined by the group.
Small cues can invite unity: ‘we’ language, reminders of common ground, symbols of membership, and moments that make people feel like insiders.
The mistake is faking it. Pretended unity reads as manipulation. But when you can honestly highlight a genuine connection, psychological distance shrinks—and suspicion with it. Once unity is felt, agreement stops sounding like surrender. It sounds like loyalty.