How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie

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Chapters

A SHORTCUT TO DISTINCTION — 1 min
Talent helps, and knowledge helps, but neither guarantees influence. Two people can carry the same facts; the one…
NINE SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS BOOK — 1 min
Read with a specific person in mind. Don’t search for flaws in the ideas; search for places you…
HOW THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN — AND WHY — 1 min
The raw material here comes from repeated human problems: the same conflicts appearing in different offices, homes, and…
PREFACE TO REVISED EDITION — 1 min
You’re not struggling with “people” as an abstract idea. You’re dealing with pride, fear, status, and the hunger…
CHAPTER 1 — ‘If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive’ — 1 min
When you criticize, you rarely change behavior. You change posture. People don’t accept blame; they defend identity. The…
CHAPTER 2 — The Big Secret of Dealing with People — 1 min
People will work harder for appreciation than for criticism, because appreciation feeds the one hunger almost everyone shares:…
CHAPTER 3 — ‘He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way’ — 1 min
Influence doesn’t come from pushing your desire harder. It comes from awakening the other person’s desire. If they…
CHAPTER 4 — Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere — 1 min
The fastest way to make people like you is not to talk well. It’s to care well. Genuine…
CHAPTER 5 — A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression — 1 min
A first impression is often a feeling more than an evaluation. People decide whether you are safe, warm,…
CHAPTER 6 — If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble — 1 min
A person’s name is not a label. It’s a piece of identity. Remembering it communicates respect in a…
CHAPTER 7 — An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist — 1 min
Good conversation is not clever speech. It’s comfortable exchange. And comfort comes from being heard. Most people are…
CHAPTER 8 — How to Interest People — 1 min
You can’t hold attention with what you find fascinating if the other person can’t see themselves in it.…
CHAPTER 9 — How to Make People Like You Instantly — 1 min
People warm up fastest when they feel respected. Not flattered—respected. The difference is sincerity. Treat the person in…
CHAPTER 10 — You Can’t Win an Argument — 1 min
An argument is a trap: even if you “win,” the other person loses face. And people don’t thank…
CHAPTER 11 — A Sure Way of Making Enemies – and How to Avoid It — 1 min
Nothing creates enemies faster than making someone feel foolish. The words can be polite, but the message is…
CHAPTER 12 — If You’re Wrong, Admit It — 1 min
Defensiveness turns small mistakes into big conflicts. The moment you fight to protect your image, the other person…
CHAPTER 13 — A Drop of Honey — 1 min
If you begin with hostility, you create a wall. If you begin with friendliness, you create a doorway.…
CHAPTER 14 — The Secret of Socrates — 1 min
People resist being pushed, but they enjoy arriving at their own conclusions. The Socratic approach is to guide…
CHAPTER 15 — The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints — 1 min
When people complain, they usually want two things before solutions: to be heard, and to be respected. If…
CHAPTER 16 — How to Get Cooperation — 1 min
Cooperation isn’t pulled; it’s invited. People support what they help create, and resist what is imposed on them.…
CHAPTER 17 — A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You — 1 min
A lot of conflict is a failure of imagination: you can’t feel what the other person feels, so…
CHAPTER 18 — What Everybody Wants — 1 min
Beneath arguments and demands sits a quiet desire: to be understood. People want sympathy for difficulties and recognition…
CHAPTER 19 — An Appeal That Everybody Likes — 1 min
Most people prefer to see themselves as fair, generous, and competent. Even when they act selfishly, they keep…
CHAPTER 20 — The Movies Do It. TV Does It. Why Don’t You Do It? — 1 min
Facts alone often fail because they don’t create a picture. People move when they can see what you…
CHAPTER 21 — When Nothing Else Works, Try This — 1 min
When logic, requests, and reminders fail, you may be dealing with apathy. A person may not be resisting…
CHAPTER 22 — If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin — 1 min
Criticism is easiest to deliver and hardest to receive. If you open with blame, the other person stops…
CHAPTER 23 — How to Criticize – and Not Be Hated for It — 1 min
Direct accusation invites direct defense. If you point a finger, you usually trigger a shield. Try the indirect…
CHAPTER 24 — Talk About Your Own Mistakes First — 1 min
If you start by exposing someone else’s mistake, you set yourself above them. They feel judged, not helped.…
CHAPTER 25 — No One Likes to Take Orders — 1 min
People want autonomy. Even when they agree with your plan, they resist being commanded, because an order implies…
CHAPTER 26 — Let the Other Person Save Face — 1 min
Few things sting like public embarrassment. When you damage someone’s dignity, you may get compliance, but you lose…
CHAPTER 27 — How to Spur People On to Success — 1 min
People move toward the image you reflect back to them. Treat someone as a failure, and you often…
CHAPTER 28 — Give a Dog a Good Name — 1 min
When you label someone negatively, you freeze them. “Careless,” “lazy,” “difficult”—those words don’t correct behavior; they harden identity.…
CHAPTER 29 — Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct — 1 min
If you make a problem feel like a mountain, people avoid it. They protect themselves with excuses, delay,…
CHAPTER 30 — Making People Glad to Do What You Want — 1 min
If you want people to act, don’t make it feel like obedience. Make it feel like choice, pride,…